The Kindiverse Where everything's made up and the posts don't matter.

Tag Archives: Netflix

WTFilm: BMX Bandits

If you’ve been searching for the best crappy 80s movie ever produced, your quest is at an end.

bmxbanditspig

This weekend the Ginger and I were flipping through Netflix when we stumbled upon the multiple award-nominated gem that is BMX Bandits. It stars a 16-year old Nicole Kidman in her first feature film (who could forget her earlier role in the made-for-Australian-television movie Bush Christmas?), Angelo D’Angelo (the less successful Australian forerunner to Mario Lopez), and what I’m convinced was the actual police department of Manly, New South Wales.

wtfnicolekidman

Oh my God, you guys. Once you’ve accepted that you won’t be able to understand half of what’s being said – due to the accents, mumbling, and either Aussie slang or 80s slang or both – this movie is pure cinematic gold. But don’t give up and watch it on mute because the original score and the two featured songs are slathered in such a thick coating of 80s cheese, Oprah would spiral back into the fat phase of her endless yo-yo cycle just by listening.

bmxbanditsbaddies

What’s the plot? you might ask. Something to do with maybe stolen walkie-talkies that were maybe¬†illegally shipped from the U.S. (apparently, nothing is legal in Australia, even though there are bigger problems than radio interference Down Under, like the fact that 98% of the fauna wants to kill you), and for some reason there’s kids riding bikes being pursued by two mentally deficient criminals who drive their getaway car as if they’re steering with their ass cheeks. BMX Bandits features what may be the greatest high-speed car/bicycle chase ever choreographed, and Nicole Kidman’s 18-year old wigged male stunt double does some rad tricks while the other two teen protagonists look on in what must be well-disguised discomfort or blatant bi-curiosity.

So get on Netflix (or, if you don’t have Netflix, hunt down the bargain DVD) and watch this treasure trove of a film. Be sure to email and tweet the guys of Rifftrax about it too because the only thing BMX Bandits is missing is a healthy dose of ridicule.